The Surprising Reason You Attract the Wrong People

Do you have a tendency to attract the wrong people into your life?

I recently started being friends with someone who I really liked. They were outgoing, funny, and supportive. I shared a few conversations with her about personal matters. It felt good to have someone to talk to.

A few weeks later, I heard her talking about what I had told her to other people. I felt betrayed and mad. How could she have broken my confidence like this? Had I chosen the wrong person to trust again?

If I look back, I can see how I have often chosen the wrong people in my life, but I wasn’t sure why.

The surprising reason it keeps happening

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

Maya Angelou

Now I understand that what I was actually doing was ignoring the red flags that were there from the beginning.

This new friend often gossiped or criticized other people. Why wouldn’t she do the same with me? I wasn’t any different from anyone else. I couldn’t take what she did personally. It was just who she was.

How to stop attracting the wrong people

My goal now is to stop wishing people would be other than who they are, but rather to observe and totally accept them as they present themselves to me. Then I’m able to make healthy decisions for who I let into my life based on their behavior.

No one is perfect, but I can decide for myself if whatever behavior is going to hurt me or if I’m ok with it. It’s my responsibility to be responsible for myself.

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