How to Make a Hard Decision

If you’re anything like us, sometimes you get stuck on how to make a hard decision. Maybe you’re scared to take the next step because you worry you make the wrong direction. Or maybe you have so many choices, you’re overwhelmed.

Whatever the situation, you probably feel that nudge to move forward, but are confused or scared to take action.

Try these seven tricks to help you make the best choice that’s in alignment with your best self.

1: ASK AND LET GO

Maya Angelou kept playing cards with to overcome writers block. Why? Because, she said, it occupied her small mind so her big mind could produce the answer she sought. This is the same concept that leads to ‘shower’ discoveries. How often has an idea or answer come to you in the shower? Or while driving? It’s the same principle. When you keep your active mind (or small mind) busy with a mundane task, it clears way for your inner voice to speak.  Sometimes it words, sometimes it’s a feeling, sometimes it’s a knowing. It’s subtle.

2: MIRROR, MIRROR

Imagine you’ve already made the decision. Now, if you were to wake up in the morning the next day, do you feel good about the decision you’ve made? If you feel resistance, then it’s probably not the right choice. If you feel light and open, then you’re probably on the right road.

3: WHEN I’M 85 YEARS OLD, I’LL FEEL…

Imagine you’re 85 years old. When you look back on your life from there, will the decision you need to make get you closer to where you want to be then or further away? What needs to change to get your closer to your ultimate goal?

4: THE PRO/CON LIST

In a notebook (or an excel or Google Sheet sheet), you make a list of every positive aspect you can think of when making a choice. On the other side, you make a list of negatives you can think of. Fill out all that you can think of. You can do this in one sitting or over a day or two to make sure you’ve thought of everything. Then you can choose based on if the good outweigh the bad.

5: THE DECISION MATRIX

A decision matrix is a fancier version of the pro/con list that forces you to weigh various levels of values. Once you add up all of the columns, the option with the highest number wins.

6: DON’T ASK OTHER PEOPLE

Ok, maybe this should be on a list of ways not to make a decision, but it’s on here anyway. This is the thing. Only you know what’s best for you (see #7), so asking other people won’t really give you the right decision because they aren’t you. Anyone you ask has their own biases. Best leave them to them.

7: FOLLOW YOUR HEART (YOUR YOU SPARK)

Each tool above offers a different way to help you make a choice, but at the end, the final decision must feel right to you. This is the most important one. How do you know if it feels right? If it’s the wrong choice, your heart/body will constrict. If it’s the right choice, you will feel light, open, expansive, and free. Meditate and ask to find the answer. If you’re having trouble knowing what you want, check out these journal prompts to help you get in touch with your inner self. You can also consider journaling more in-depth with our full journal.

Most importantly, be gentle with yourself. Making decisions can be hard, but there are no bad decisions. Only learning opportunities. If you find the one path you picked isn’t right, remember that you always have other options.

What are some things you’ve used to make a hard decision? What’s worked for you and what hasn’t? Let us know below.

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MARGARET
October 24, 2023

Excellent references, from a very complex mind Thank You

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